Ada Cinta Di Matanya

Orang kenal girl sebagai seorang yang pijak semut pun tak mati. Girl pun bahagia, lagi2 hero kampung girl nih dah jadi kepunyaan girl. Girl dan dia dah 3 tahun bercinta. Memang bercinta bagai nak rak la jugak, sampai cincin pun kitorang dah beli. Si dia nih tak ubah mcm girl, kitorang mmg tak berani nak lawan ckp orang tua. Dia terpaksa akur dgn kehendak ibu dier, nak dier kawin dgn best friend girl dan bukan girl. Sejak cincin yang kami pilih bersama tu disarungkan ke tangan orang lain, girl jadi tak menentu. Termenung tak kire tempat, kadang2 meradang, especially towards lelaki. Girl jadi lebih berhati-hati. Taknak pisang berbuah 2 kali.

Girl paksa diri girl menyabung nasib di bandar, dengan harapan girl dpt lupakan peristiwa lalu. Baru beberapa bulan girl keje sebagai guru tadika, ader la pulak si makhluk nih,”A”. Tetiba jer, A nampak anak sedara dier lebam di muka, alih2 dier ckp girl pukul budak tu. Dah la tu, takdek usul periksa gi lapor terus kat pengetua. Girl sedar nak dibandingkan girl dgn bapak budak tu. Adehh…jauh beza. Kalau tak kerana sumbangan ikhlas dr bapak budak tu, tak hidup la tadika nih. Girl paham pengetua terpaksa berhentikan girl demi masa depan tadika tu.

Skang, girl lepak kat umah sewa, sambil2 cari keja. Di luar sangkaan girl, bkn panggilan telefon nak bgtahu girl dpt keje yg girl terima tiap2 ari, tapi lahabau sekor tu yang slalu tepon. Baru girl tahu, rupa2nya dier salah anggap. Anak sedara dier jatuh rupa-rupanya. Punya takut kena marah, sampai girl yg jadi mangsa.

Lepas peristiwa tu, mamat nih giler2 carikkan girl keje baru. Ader satu time tu, girl dibawa oleh Tati, housemate girl ke satu office nih. Girl lak memang dah tak kisah dah keje aper, asal halal, pinjam kasut tinggi orang, handbag orang, nak melawa punya pasal. Lantaklah, asalkan girl dapat keje. Girl tak nampak sapa yang temuduga girl tu, seorang laki yg membelakangi girl. Entah camner, lepas abis ditemuduga, girl sempat berpaling ke belakang sambil bukak pintu office tu. MasyaAllah, tak disangka mamat yang sorang nih. Macam mana girl takleh perasan suara dier tadi. At last, girl lari lintang pukang. Time tu terasa mcm Cinderella lak, sbb nak cepat nyer pasal, girl terpaksa tanggal kasut tinggi tu. Dalam cab, girl nampak dier tgk peluk kasut yg girl pinjam from Tati tu. Hiks, lawak gak aih.

Alasannyer nak datang antar kasut girl tu, sempat jugak dier baham semangkuk maggi. Girl pulak entah kenapa kejam sangat, sampai dikenyek 5 bijik cili padi masuk dlm maggi tu. Kelakar tengok dier makan sampai merah padam mukanya. Tapi, kekejaman girl takdek la sampai nak tengok dier sakit2, rupa2nya dier takleh makan pedas, sakit usus katanyer. Giler jugak lah girl, nasib tak mati anak orang dibuatnyer.

Girl yang serba salah dengan berat hati terpaksa menapak jugak ke rumah A, dengan niat menziarah orang sakit. Tak sangka ari tu jugak, tunang dier datang. Adeh, sakitlah mata girl nih tgk, bukan main lagi dier dgn pompuan tu. Eh…naper lak girl nak marah. Suka hati diorang la. Jeles ek?? Perghh.

Sekian lama menyabung nasib, satu pun tak mengena, girl buat keputusan untuk balik ke kampung. Biarpun luluh hati ini terpaksa berdepan dengan bekas kekasih hati, namun demi menyara hidup nenek, girl butakan mata, pekakkan telinga.

Di saat girl nak pejamkan mata, di saat girl bersendiri, di saat girl mandi air perigi pagi2 buta, ader jugak air suam membasahi pipi. Nak kata giler ke tak, tak tahu la. Namun girl memang rindu, girl mmg tak boleh melupakan si dia di KL. Setiap hari hati girl terjerit2, adakah ini cinta yang girl carik selama nih? Maafkan diri ini, girl tak berniat nak memikat hati tunang orang. Tapi, hati ini yang meronta-ronta, pinta diisi kesunyian yang telah lama berkota.

Alangkah girangnyer hati, biarpun tengah2 malam, si dier datang bersama keluarga menyatakan hasrat suci di hati. Memang benar aper yang girl dengar, dier dulu dah nak kawin dah pun, a few days before kenduri, tunangan dier decided to move to Kanada, sebab nak eratkan hubungannya dgn ibu yang dah lama terputus. Kata putusnya pada family A, tunggulah, maybe kena postpone, maybe tak jadi langsung. Dah memang girl punyala jawabnyer nih. Akulah seorang cinderella di dunia realiti.

On this Mother's Day

On this Mother's Day, I'd like to say thanks a lot mom. Hope we could chat again like we used to.

You'll never know
What you've done for me
What your faith in me
Has done for my soul
And you'll never know
the gift you've given me
I'll carry it with me, yeah

Through all the days ahead
I think of days before
You made me hope for something better
and made me reach for something more

You taught me to run
You taught me to fly
Help me to free the me inside
Help me hear the music of my heart
Help me hear the music of my heart
You opened my eyes
You opened the door
To something I've never known before
And your love
Is the music of my heart

You were the one
Always on my side
Always standing by
Seeing me through

You were the song that always made me sing
I'm singing this for you
Everywhere I go
I think of where I've been
And of the one who knew me better
Than anyone ever will again

What you taught me
Only your love could ever teach me
You got through when no one could reach me before
'Cus you always saw in me
All the best that I could be
It was you who set me free

Is the music of my heart

Final Exam

Naper eh menyepi? Sbb lusa dah nak final exam. Ader baper jam lg eh? Exam mula kul 830 pagi. Dalam 1 hari, 14 1/2 jam lg akan terketar2 la tangan nih nak amik exam Polymer...tapi skang tgh buat aper? Skang tgh tulih paper lg....adehh.....

What to do when we're hungry?

http://www.bupa.co.uk/health_information/html/healthy_living/lifestyle/diet/guide/whenhungry.html


Double check your hunger

Even if you think you are hungry, try a couple of double-checks first:

• drink a glass of water - thirst can mask itself as hunger. So before you eat, try drinking a
glass of water and waiting to see if you still feel hungry after 10 minutes.
• get active - sometimes we're not hungry at all, but bored or tired instead. A walk round the
office, or doing your favourite activity might reveal that your thoughts of food
were only there because you had nothing else to think about.


Visualise the food

Your hunger can also guide you as to the types of food that your body needs. Before you eat, go through the following process to check your hunger and work out what you really want:

• when you've established that you feel hungry, relax and let yourself imagine what it is that you really what to eat. Pasta and tomato sauce? A slice of cheesecake. If you can't picture and taste the food in your mind, then you may not really be hungry or want that particular food. If you do want it, store it on a mental "list".

• before you eat, think about how the food will make you feel. Picture yourself eating it, then picture how it will affect you at 30 minutes and than at an hour after eating. Will it give you some much-needed energy and make you feel better? Or will you feel bloated and sleepy? Do you feel as though your body will use up the food for energy?

• go through this process with a couple more types of food before you settle on what you
really want to eat.

Why do people feel hungry?

www.answerbag.com/q_view.php/4286

It's related to several things. One is glucose level. No matter how much you eat or drink, if your blood sugars drop too low, you'll feel hungry and shaky.
Another reason is your stomach. Your stomach gets used to being a certain size, and being filled with a certain amount at certain times. If you go without eating for too long and let your stomach shrink, it sends your brain signals telling you to eat. This is also why you can curb this particular hunger impulse by drinking large amounts of water.

And because our ancestors were opportunistic eaters (they gorged when they could get food, because they didn't know how long they'd have to go without), we can actually become hungry because of outside stimuli. Smelling delicious food cooking, or watching a commercial for your favorite resteraunt, for example.
The last explanation isn't really about hunger for food, but for emotional relief. When some people get stressed or lonely or angry or sad, they will have an almost irresistable urge to eat. This is because the act of eating triggers pleasure centers in the brain. It's an instant high. It makes sense if you think about it, often the first sensation of pleasure a newborn gets is from nursing.

Prejudice ??

It was 11 o’clock at night. I was about to enter the departure hall. Aisyah, my only niece was crying badly. She might not understand what was happening, but she must be upset seeing the whole family was hugging each other. Mom passed away last year and I wasn’t there by her side. So, I decided to spend my whole summer in Malaysia, to be there with my family, especially my dad who was feeling down since the loss.

After my sister and I met up in London Gatwick International Airport, we took a bus to Heathrow International Airport. I had to catch another flight to Pittsburgh on the next morning. I am going back to the States to continue my third year in college. I am so close to my sister, that it was so hard for us to say goodbye.

After 15 hours of flight, all I can think of is to rest. I was dreaming about the bed. I was so sad to leave my family. I did not have the guts to do anything, not even eat or drink. I was so disturbed that I even left my purse in the restroom. Fortunately it was still there when I went to search for it. I can’t believe how reckless I am.

My flight from Heathrow to Pittsburgh took about 6 hours. I needed to hurry as I had to catch a connecting flight to my last destination, Cleveland. I bet I was not the only one who needed to go out quick. As soon as the plane stopped, everybody stood up taking their luggage from the upper compartment.

The passengers were stunned to the announcement made by the stewardess. We were told not to leave the plane until further notice. Soon after that, a group of people came in. The lady next to me recognized those people as the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI). I was so worried that I was going to miss my next flight.

Nobody informed us what actually happened. The security told us that we needed to go through a few security procedures due to an incident in that flight. I did not want to be prejudice, but I knew there’s something wrong from the moment all FBI officers were staring at me, when they got into the plane.

All passengers and their luggage needed to be scanned. A few bags were searched, and mine were not excluded. Luck was on my side.

“Let her go, she’s just a student,” said a mid-40 woman supervisor to her assistant when I was referred to her. I was relieved and ran as fast as I could to the passport clearance booth. I got only an hour to catch up my next flight.
When I was queuing up, an officer approached me. He asked me to follow him to the office. I was given a full explanation on what happened in the plane just now. Someone wrote unidentified characters on the wall in the rear lavatory using a black marker pen. The officer added that they were looking for the person who supposed to be responsible for the incident. I was so shocked that I was chosen, together with two other Indian men.

I was nervous and fretful, even though I know I shouldn’t. I did not know how to prove that I didn’t do it.
“I was sitting at the 2nd row of the Economy class. I did go to the lavatory a few times, but the one I went to is the one in front. You can ask other passengers that I did not even go to the back of the plane. I bet most of the passengers can recognize me, I am the only one wearing the scarf.”

I ran to the next station where a few officers were checking the hand luggage. I thought, I was done with this issue, but I was definitely wrong. One of the officers found a marker pen inside my backpack. The black permanent marker pen was the same type as the one used to write in the lavatory. I just recalled, I took the marker pen out when I was in London. I needed it to mark my checked-in luggage.

It was so frustrating to know that I’d missed my connecting flight to Cleveland. I started to be frantic and wrathful. Again, I was in probe with the white-Caucasian officer. He has a face of a typical FBI officer, he has a thick moustache, large eyes and very pointed nose. Even though he’s a short guy, he has a strongly built body. This time, he was not alone. A few other officers joined him and I realized at that time, almost all eyes in the hall were looking at me.

It was funny that I sometimes thought that this setup might be the one show that I watched on the television where they were pranking other people. It was unbelievable that I was still able to smile to myself at this situation.

One of the officers showed me the picture of that writing. She asked me whether I can recognize the writing or not. “Do you know any Arabic character?”
“Well, I know a few characters.”

I was shocked to see that the writing was nothing near to Arabic character; it was more to numbers and scratches as if that person was trying to erase it.

I remember one of the case studies that we went over in my Psychology class, it was about the prejudice in US authority officers. This is one of the examples. I am startled to see how prejudice can affect our judgments and how social psychology can explain the human interactions.

Prejudice refers to negative feelings towards persons based on their membership and certain groups. The formation of prejudice results from stereotype that begins with the tendency for people to group themselves and others into social categories. Social categorization allows perceivers make quick inferences about group members. However, this spawns the outgroup homogeneity effect, where people tend to assume that there is more similarity among members of outgroups than ingroups.
“In my opinion, it’s just a single-digit number.”

One of the officers agreed with my opinion but his colleagues were all looking at him with that look. I thought to myself, this is one of the process-loss of group, identified as groupthink. Groupthink happens when there is an excessive tendency to seek concurrence among group members. It emerges when the need for agreement takes priority over the motivation to obtain accurate information and make appropriate decision.

In this incident, contrast effect takes place. It is obvious that the FBI officers tend to perceive stimuli that differ from expectations as being more different than they really are. In the worse case, negatively stereotyped and devalued community can be recognized as a stigmatized group. Research has documented a huge and growing list of groups whose members show underperformance and performance-impairing behaviors when a negative stereotype about their abilities is made relevant. Furthermore, this technique will facilitate to form cross-ethnic friendships and discard ethnic and cultural stereotypes. It has the potential to improve education dramatically in a multi-cultural world by revolutionizing the way people think.

Jennifer Eberhardt and others (2004) did conduct an experiment with police officers. Some of the officers were shown white faces and others, black faces. It was revealed that the officers were more likely to rate a black face as “criminal” than a white face.

There are some approaches that have been suggested for combating stereotypes, prejudices and discriminations such as intergroup contact, the jigsaw classroom, the decategorization and recategorization; and changing cultures and motivation. In other words, we should improve our attitudes toward the outgroup and increase the perceived variability of the outgroup. Jigsaw classroom was first come to mind of Elliot Arronson when there was an incident in Columbine High School in 1999. The Jigsaw classroom is a specific cooperative learning technique. This “cooperation by design” facilitates interaction among all students in the class. This will eventually lead them to value each other as contributors to their common task.

In brief, changing the social structures will help to reduce the conflict-promoting effect of social categorization.

The Story of An Hour

As a foreman at the General Motors’ Electro-Motive Division, Harry started teaching square dance in 1953 as his part-time job. He fell in love with square dance that made him to leave his 35-years foreman job. He became one of the most active members of International Association of Square Dance Callers (CALLERLAB), that he would go to most of its Annual Conventions.
He loved to travel the world learning new dance techniques that he continued to travel alone even he had retired from being a square dance caller 2 years ago. Early this month, he flew to Bangkok knowing that Thailand’s dancing moves are so magnificent. On the way back, due to the bad weather that night, his connecting flight from Newark to Chicago had been cancelled.
Being so exhausted he checked in to a hotel near the airport. After settling down with his luggage, he turned on the television and watched the news. Suddenly, he was so stunned to hear about a report saying that a few meteors will collapse with the earth in few more days. The meteors were projected to land in Moscow, Beijing and the States. The news were showing people from all over the world were crying and weeping.
With cooperation from the States and Russia, they have succeeded to break the huge meteor into small pieces and people in Pentagon was very delighted for that success. Suddenly, the cameraman switched the view to a big screen where everybody was stunned to see that the small pieces of the meteor would still hit the earth and people could be killed.
“Mom, no matter where you are, I really hope that you’ll forgive me and I want you to know that I love you, mom.” Harry was in grief listening to the sad voice of the news reporter. He saw the faces of his late wife, children and grandchildren one after another. He cried thinking that he would die all alone. He was so close to his family that he compiled a genealogical history of his family members and at that moment he had no one by his side. He could not stand the sorrow that he continued to cry.
The next morning Harry was found dead. His family accepted the news sadly. They were told that Harry died due to a great intense of sorrow. He was extremely distress. The investigators were clueless of what would cause Harry’s sorrow. The only thing they figured out was Harry was watching television. The hotel’s management told Harry’s family that the midnight movie shown through the channel was Deep Impact. Still, this can't tell what caused his death.
Harry’s family will always remember how kind Harry was, they would turn to him if they needed any help.

Sungai dan liku-likunya

Girl jadi tak menentu, bertemankan lappy kesayangan, girl terbaring atas katil. Otak dah penat buat omwek EBME 310. Macam nk pecah jugak otak girl nih. Tetiba girl termenung jauh...takdekla jauh sgt..bilik pun sempit jer kan..tgk brg bersepah..girl terjun katil kemas sumer..

Lappy lak tgh jerit2 lagu Senario Joget Usik Mengusik..

Ntah tiba2 girl rindu zaman maktab dlu. Dalam byk2 memory, paling girl rindu, setiap minit girl gunakan utk bersama2 dgn rakan2 seperjuangan di ***** maktab. Tak tahu naper..tapi girl rasa sgt tenang duduk dlm bilik yg luas tu. Girl ingat dlu.ader ajer agenda yg nk dibuat. Kitab suci ditatap tiap2 kali ader masa yang terluang. Kalau tak pun...girl join jer kwn2 lain..sama2
dengar tazkirah ker..sama2 mengucap syukur dan memuji ke atas Dia yang Esa.

Yang paling melucukan setiap kali lepas solat Subuh...mcm di medan perang, putih jer lantai bilik tu. Hehe..maklumla sumer dah 'syahid'. Pandang ke tingkat bawah pun sama jer..dua kali lima jer..yang bezanya kat bwh takdek la kain2 putih...mcm2 color kat bwh tu. Color aper girl tak igt lak. Iyer la..takkan nk pandang lama2 kan..kang orang kata tak manis lak..duduk dlm *****, takkan nk terjengah2 lak tgk bwh. Hehe..

Saf itu la yang paling girl slalu rindu tiap2 ari. Punya rapat dgn penghuni dier, sampai bau perfume pun dah kenal saper. Saf itu lah yang girl rasa saf yang bakal menyaksikan jatuh bangun girl. Girl igt dlu lepas waktu riadah, girl suka lepak kat koridor luar bilik sbb time2 gitu ader suara dan dendangan yang paling girl suka.

Paling senang hati girl, biler sampai2 jer bilik tu, sumer dah ader dlm bulatan masing2, masing2 menatapi setiap huruf yang indah itu. Time tu dah takdek maksud pangkat dan umur, sumer samer jer, ader salah, masing2 tegur. Agaknya itu la punca persahabatan yang akrab, biler setiap teguran tu dianjurkan dan diterima dgn baik sesama kita.

Masih segar di pikiran girl, bagaimana semua tunduk di luar bilik tu, bkn aper..carik selipar..masing2 nak cepat. Ye la..lepas nih kena lari ke Prep lak. Lambat karang, tak pasal singgah satu rotan kat tgn. Haih...tersenyum sendiri lak girl. Ye la..lumrah perempuan agaknya. Sblm ke kelas, kena pakai lawa2 dlu, kena balik betulkan bedak yg bertompok2 kat muka dlu. Tudung kena iron dlu. Dlu, naik turun tangga 4 tingkat tu alah..tak heran dah..hehe.. Kejap jerk sampai..

Girl carik2 bayang masa depan girl. Girl mengeluh perlahan. Mampukah girl mendapatkan kembali bilik kegemaran girl ni? Dapatkah lagi girl bina satu saf yang sentiasa serentak mengikut irama yg tenang mengalun itu? Sekerap girl nampak phospholipid yang bulat akibat hydrophobic dan hydrophillic, sekerap itula girl terkenang bulatan yang sentiasa menyenangkan hati girl.

Begitu cepat masa berlalu, masa macam air, biar berliku mcmana skalipun sungai hidup ini, air tetap laju merenanginya.

Bawak balik nih satu ke Mesia, buley ak?? 

Hehe...21 years ago... 

Gambar raya tak ingatla tahun baper 

Spring 2005

Awo2....selesai sudah first week of class utk Spring 2005. Adehh..makin tua nih..makin menjadi2 aku ponteng kelas. Kalau dlu..awal2 rajin giler gi kelas...lama2 baru start ponteng. Harap2nyer..kali nih..awal2 malas...akhir2 rajin.. :D.

Lama gak tak chot chet2 dlm blog nih. Sebabnya...ader orang tu baru balik aa. Hikhik.. Yeendduuu sangat kat orang tu. Kuangkuangkuang.

loved by you

I’m walking on the moon
I’m dancing on the rainbow
With the perfect tune sang by a flock of birds
I feel so happy. Can never be happier
I thank you for the sweet phrase that I’ve been longing for my whole life.

I thought this love will only be cherished when we’re together.
Believe me, you’re always here inside my heart even though when we are apart.
Just after knowing you now that I learn what love really is.
It’s about trust, honest, give and take.

Whenever we’re apart and I am feeling all alone
I close my eyes and think of all the happiness we’ve known
I think of how your sparkling eyes are such a precious sight
And how your arms around me feel so comforting and right
I think of how I’m free to be myself when I’m with you
And how you make so much in life seem wonderful and new
And somehow I feel better then
Because I clearly see
Since I hold you close within my heart
You’re always here with me

Air Mata Kasih

“Budak tu tak guna, lagi menyusahkan lagi ada”
Kata-kata Ayah itu terngiang2 dlm telinga girl. Menurut ibu ader citer silam yang buatkan ayah tak sukakan anak perempuan. Ntahla, girl pun tak paham. Yang girl tahu, girl mmg tak tahan dgn perangai ayah, menyebabkan girl berdikari. Dengan duit girl sendiri, girl bukak perniagaan kucing, hasil keuntungan kedai tu, girl biayai degree girl time weekend. Menggunakan duit tu jugak, girl beli rumah sewa, kecik, tapi, girl tenang ader di situ. Abang2 girl kerja kat syarikat Ayah.

Satu hari tu, Daniel dtg kedai girl, belikan kucing utk gf dier. Hubungan girl dgn that guy, biasala, customer. Sampai la satu hari, dier gaduh dgn gf dier sampai gf dier buang kucing tu dr tingkat tiga. Girl marah sgt kat Daniel, girl mmg takkan jual kucing kat dier dah.

Citer nyer start biler Ayah, Abang2 dan kenalan dier hilang ketika scuba diving di Australian Coral. Girl atas desakan Umi dan Pak Long (Abang Umi), terpaksa menerajui syarikat Ayah. Girl mesti ambik alih, kalau tak, Pak Long Kassim akan melingkupkan syarikat tu. Satu keluarga masak benar dgn perangainya yang tak pernah bersyukur dgn aper yang ader. Girl kekok pada mulanya, sbb situ sumer laki. Girl buat keje pun sbb igt skit2 aper yang girl belajar kat Univ dlu. Girl berjaya menyelamatkan beberapa projek syarikat tu. Girl atas bantuan beberapa arkitek berjaya mengupas penyelewengan salah seorang pekerja Ayah. Girl pun duduk dgn umi kat umah, kami bahagia bersama, sgt rapat. Yang girl tak suka, girl terpaksa tinggalkan kucing2 girl buat sementara waktu.

Alhamdulillah, girl dpt tunjuk ajar dr ramai org, terutama Daniel. Yelah, girl bkn tahu sgt bab2 construction bgnn nih. Cuma kdg2 tu rimas biler Daniel call every 5 minutes. Dier dh panggil girl “Sayang”, walaupun sbnrnya girl tak tahu pun status aper sbnrnya kitorang skang. Jadi girl cuba utk deny jerk dier, even girl akui, girl bahagia disayangi begitu. Maklumla, girl tak penah ader bf. Sepanjang perkenalan tu gk, girl dpt tahu, ayah Daniel adalah kenalan Ayah yang sama2 hilang di Australia tu.

Daniel baik juga orangnya. Girl dah byk kali jumpa mak dier. Mak dier lumpuh lepas melahirkan adik Daniel. Baik orangnya. Girl tahu ayah Daniel asyik kawin-cerai2, rupanya2 mak dier yg suh kawin, sbb kesiankan Ayah dier. Mak Daniel rasa dier tak dpt nk penuhi tanggungjawab dier sbg seorang isteri.

Ader satu keluarga nih baru jadi jiran Daniel, diorang dlunyer berhijrah ke Scotland. Sewaktu terajui syarikat Ayah tu, girl ambik Fida, anak jiran Daniel utk keje as an architect kat situ. Girl jadi gundah-gulana biler girl rasa sgt jealous dpt tahu Daniel ke umah Fida. Setelah diterangkan oleh Daniel; atas urusan renovation rumah Fida, baru girl senang hati. Girl kaget gk dgn respon girl, Daniel bknlah bf girl. Adakah girl sudah jatuh hati?

Biler Ayah balik, Ayah masih tak berubah. Jasa girl selama nih, Ayah bayarkan dgn wang ringgit. Tp, girl taknak amik duit Ayah, girl dermakan ajer duit tu, atas nama syarikat, menyebabkan syarikat Ayah terkenal dan dpt byk offer tender.

Fuad, abang sulung girl, koma selepas lama terdampar di satu pulau di Australia dulu. Tapi, girl slalu gi visit dier, cakap2 dgnnya, Doktor ckp, kalau ader orang slalu ckp2 dgn dier, abang buleh pulih. Setelah sekian lama, abang pulih dan hubungan girl dgn abang bertambah rapat.

Satu hari, girl masuk hospital sbb demam denggi, mmg dah teruk sgt dah. Mujurlah ader Daniel yang mendukung girl ke hospital. Kalau terlambat skit, mungkin girl dah takdek dlm dunia nih. Time tu jugaklah, Ayah sedar ttg kesilapan dier. Dalam masa yang sama, girl tahu, Fida adalah sepupu girl. Mak Fida adalah kakak Ayah yang difitnah oleh datuk. Datuk ckp Mak Ngah ke KL jadi pelacur, mak Ayah meninggal pun dikatanya sbb rindu kat Mak Ngah. Rupanya2, Datuk adalah kaki judi, sehingga satu tahap tu dier tak mampu lg nk byr hutang2. Tapi, Datuk membenarkan kenalannya memperkosa Mak Ngah agar hutangnya langsai. Mak Ngah lari dr rumah kerana terlalu malu. Ayah rasa bersalah sbb pikir buruk ttg kakaknya, sekaligus membenci anak perempuannya sendiri.

Umi panggil ke rumah mlm tu. Ayah nk ajak girl balik ke rumah semula. Girl seolah2 didesak oleh seisi keluarga. On the way balik, girl tak dpt nk tahan perasaan, girl tertekan. Susah rasanya nk balik ke rumah tu setelah begitu lama girl disisihkan. Girl nangis teresak2, sampai takleh drive dah. Nama Daniel terkeluar dr bibir girl. Ntah kenapa girl rasa hanya dier leh bantu. Tetiba Daniel call hp girl. Dier ckp, dier baru nk tido, tetiba dier dgr girl tgh nangis panggil nama dier. Terkejut gak girl mendengarnya. Lepas tu Daniel dtg pujuk. Mlm tu jugak, girl cakap kat dier, yang girl sayang sangat kat Daniel.

Betapa girangnya hati nih, girl dah cukup sumernya. Girl ader satu family yang bersatu, Ayah dah jumpa kakaknya. Ayah tak lagi berdendam dgn girl. Paling girl bersyukur kehadiran Daniel dlm hidup girl, cumer girl rimas tgnnya pantang ader peluang dipeluknya pinggang girl, dipegangnya tgn girl. Girl tak biasa diperlakukan begitu. Daniel, terima kasih kerana menyayangi diri ini. Girl sayang Daniel.

CINTA PERTAMA

CINTA PERTAMA

Girl baru sajer bekerja di tempat baru. Girl duduk dgn ibu jer. Ibu pensyarah kat sebuah uniersiti tempatan. Ayah kahwin dua dan jarang balik umah. Namun girl langsung tidak berdendam dgn ayah, kesan didikan dan kasih sayang yang tak penah tak cukup dr ibu. Walaupun girl tahu, Ayah tak penah bagi satu sen pun sepanjang girl belajar kat luar negeri, sedangkan Ayah support penuh adik tiri girl yg kini berada di Australia. Baru jerk masuk U, Ayah dah belikan adik tiri perempuan girl kereta. Ini membuatkan adik perempuan girl mcm dah spoiled.

Di tempat kerja baru, girl ader sorang bos yang hensem giler nak mampos, anak kacukan, tapi slalu jerk ke surau, hanya Allah yang tahu sedalam mana iman dier kan. Itu girl taknak komen pape. Tapi, this guy dah 3 kali putus tunang. Pada mulanya girl pelik gak dgn laki nih, yela kan..aper lagi aa dier nak..muda2 dah jadi bos, kaya lak tu, itu pun tak syukur lg ke? Sampai sesuka hati dier jerk nk putus2 tunang. Girl mmg rapat sgt dgn bos nih, especially time girl ke Hongkong, dier dgn senangnya mempercayai girl, menceritakan segala2nya tentang dirinya. Baru la girl tahu naper dier fobia sgt tentang perkahwinan. Mama bos tinggalkan dier dan ayah dier time dier masih kecik dlu. Bos girl nih takut isteri dier nanti macam tu jugak, taknak nasib yang sama menimpa anak2nya kelak.

Yang ibu nih pulak, tak abih2 suh girl kawin. Girl mmg tak penah ader boyfren, so girl bersetuju ajer biler ibu suh bertunang dgn colleague ibu. Girl mmg tak sampai hati nk hampakan hati ibu, bagi girl, yang penting ibu suka dgn bakal suami girl, walaupun girl tak senang dgn pertemuan pertama girl dgn lelaki pilihan ibu. Out of nowhere, girl lak asyik angau terigt2 bos girl tu. Padahal, girl sedar bos tak penah kasi aper2 harapan kat girl.

Tak lama selepas tu, girl dpt tahu isteri kedua ayah meninggal akibat barah rahim. Ibu bersetuju utk menjaga anak2 ayah. Itulah ibu, tak pernah bersungut, tak pernah busuk hati atau berdendam dgn sapa2 pun. Walaupun jauh di sudut hati girl, girl mmg iri hati dgn adik perempuan girl, dier mendapat kebebasan sepenuhnya dan sentiasa dpt aper yang dier nak, tapi girl tetap sayangkan dier. Yelah hidup sebagai anak tunggal menyebabkan girl rasa inginkan seorang adik, seorang kawan utk bercerita. Bkn girl katakan girl tak buleh nk bercerita dgn ibu, tapi, ntah lah…

Girl cuba lari dr memory bersama bos yang sering menghantui girl, menyedari girl adalah tunangan orang dan rasa bersalah kat tunang girl. Sehinggalah suatu hari, girl terserempak tunangan girl kantoi di dlm bilik adik perempuan girl. Adik girl yang mmg berdendam dgn girl sengaja plan gitu utk menyakitkan hati girl. Pada hari yang sama, girl dapat tahu yang ayah itu bkn ayah sbnr girl.

Girl tak dpt tahan lg kesedihan di hati, girl lari ke rumah kenalan bos, Ayah Mat, kebetulan girl mmg rapat dgn dier selepas bekerjasama dgnnya dlm satu projek di office. Mlm tu jugak, bos dtg memujuk girl langsung menyatakan keinginan utk memperisterikan girl. Bukan setakat itu sajer, bos ke umah berjumpa ibu menyatakan hasratnya. Girl rasa bagaikan pucuk dicita ulam mendatang.

Jauh di sudut hati, girl berterima kasih dgn adik girl kerana melalui dier, girl mendapat petunjuk ttg perangai tunangan girl. Mujurlah semuanya berlaku sblm girl bernikah dgnnya. Tapi, simpati pun ader kat adik girl, biler dier tak nak bertanggungjawab ke atas adik girl. Walaupun begitu, adik girl dah sedar skang dan memulakan satu hidup baru.

Girl pulak bertambah girang biler dapat tahu Ayah Mat adalah ayah sebenar girl. Ayah pergi membawa diri setelah dier terpaksa ceraikan ibu atas paksaan ibu Ayah. Ibu Ayah nak Ayah kahwin dgn sepupu Ayah kerana tak mahu hartanya jatuh ke tangan orang luar dr keluarganya. Ketika itu, girl baru saja dilahirkan. Ibu Ayah halau kami kuar dr umah tu, itulah sebabnya ibu berkahwin dgn Ayah skang, Ayah berniat baik, utk menyelamatkan kami anak beranak. Menyedari perkahwinannya bkn berdasarkan cinta, ibu rela ayah kawin lagi satu, even ibu yang pergi pinang isteri kedua ayah dlu.

Selepas berkahwin, girl dan suami gi honeymoon kat satu tempat nih. Suami ckp, dier dtg ke sini selepas frust sbb dpt tahu girl dah bertunang dgn orang lain. Ketika tu, dier dtg dan asyik termenung sambil menatap PDAnya. Aper yang ader dlm PDA dier tu? Rupa2nya gambar girl ketika kami ke Hongkong dlu atas urusan kerja.

Girl rasa sungguh gembira kerana girl dapat seorang suami yang sangat penyayang dan sgt schweett, tiap2 ari diucapkan kata sayang dan dirungkaikan kata rindu, biar pun tiap2 ari girl berada di depan matanya. Tangannya tak penah lepas dr pinggang girl. Paling girl tak suka biler suami suka menyatakan di hadapan ahli keluarga yang girl adalah kilang baby2 dier. Merah giler muka biler suami memberitahu ibu yang dier inginkan anak penuh satu padang bola. Girl selalu berdoa agar kami dipanjangkan jodoh dan keluarga kami sentiasa diberkati dan dipermudahkan rezeki. Girl paling lucu tgk suami gelabah membantu girl ketika girl baru beberapa bulan mengandungkan anak sulung kami. Katanya dier rasa bersalah tgk girl mabuk sumer. =)

How do I know that this is LOVE?

1) Do I treat him as a person or a thing?

2) Would I choose to spend the evening alone with him if there were no kissing and no touching?

3) Are both of us at ease and as happy alone as we are with friends?

4) Do we get along?

5) Am I still interested in dating or secretly "messing around" with others?

6) Can I be totally honest and open?

7) Am I realistic?

8) Is either of us much more of a taker than a giver?

9) Do I think of the partner as being a part of my whole life?

I'm all alone

I Am Much Too Alone in This World, Yet Not Alone
Rainer Maria Rilke

I am much too alone in this world, yet not alone
enough
to truly consecrate the hour.
I am much too small in this world, yet not small
enough
to be to you just object and thing,
dark and smart.
I want my free will and want it accompanying
the path which leads to action;
and want during times that beg questions,
where something is up,
to be among those in the know,
or else be alone.

I want to mirror your image to its fullest perfection,
never be blind or too old
to uphold your weighty wavering reflection.
I want to unfold.
Nowhere I wish to stay crooked, bent;
for there I would be dishonest, untrue.
I want my conscience to be
true before you;
want to describe myself like a picture I observed
for a long time, one close up,
like a new word I learned and embraced,
like the everday jug,
like my mother's face,
like a ship that carried me along
through the deadliest storm.

A Thousand Miles

Making my way down town
Walking fast
Faces pass
And I'm home bound

Staring blankly ahead
Just making my way
Making a way
Through the crowd

And I need you
And I miss you
And now I wonder
If I could fall
Into the sky
Do you think time
Would pass me by
Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles
If I could just see you... tonight

It's always times like these
When I think of you
And I wonder
If you ever think of me

Cause everything's so wrong
And I don't belong
Living in
Your precious memory

Cause I need you
And I miss you
And now I wonder
If I could fall
Into the sky
Do you think time
Would pass me by,oh
Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles

Bowling oh Bowling

Bowling When Injured
10/30/2000 - By George Freeman
     Bowling is not considered a "contact sport," meaning players do not directly interact with one another physically like football players do. However, this does not mean that bowlers are not subject to injury as football players are. The constant bending; the strain on the tendon; and muscles in the knees, fingers, and arms can take their toll. You aren't likely to see a bowler break his or her leg on the lanes, but injuries while bowling can sideline players as easily as injuries on the football field can.

     The most important thing I can stress, especially for youth bowlers, is that if you injure yourself on the lanes, STOP BOWLING IMMEDIATELY. ABC, WIBC, and YABA all have rules in place in the event a bowler has to leave the game due to an injury during league play, so you will not be penalized for it. It is not worth bowling an extra five or six frames to finish out the game and risking aggravating an injury so that instead of it taking a couple days to heal, it could take a week, or two weeks, or even worse. It's just not worth it. Youth bowlers, because they are young, have still-developing muscles and bones, and thus sometimes are more susceptible to injury than adults. It is even more important that youth bowlers know when to stop for exactly that reason--they are young. They need their body to develop normally. Don't worry, the lanes will still be there when you recover. No one will call you a wimp or weak. It's not a contest to see who the most macho bowler is, so if someone does give you a hard time, remind them that it is YOUR body, not theirs.

     So, if you find yourself in a position where you shouldn't continue, don't. The frames you miss today might be the games you won't have to miss tomorrow.

http://www.bowlingfans.com/tips/george10302000.shtml

Stop bowling immediately? Last few days, I injured myself during the 3rd frame. But what did I do? I continued to play until 7 frames. Skang..aper dh jadi? Sakit abih satu badan..adehh..
But that's fine, memandangkan selama nih tak penah2 dpt lebih dr 100 kan...huhu...Illid poyo nyer tulih dlm blog nih..ala..aper nk heran kan..orang baca dpt 100 lebih tu..maybe that's nothing for u..tp..aku tak penah lebih 100 doo.....So..it means something for me..

Winter Break

In Cleveland throughout the Winter Break? Gosh! What a survivor! I have no choice besides membela lemak here in Cleveland. Is Cleveland so bad that I don't think I will be able to survive for the month? Not that bad. Whose statement is this: we don't need that much money if you want to be in Cleveland. Mcm tak cayer jerk..Paling2 teruk pun Tower City aa..bodoh2 tower city tu pun buleh abih byk gk..

ke..mmg kelemahan pompuan..takleh tgk bende lawa2 skit nk beli..or sbb aku mmg tgh buhsan kat sini..so..takdek keje...apalaga..berbelanja besar lah kan? Hmm..macamana nk disiplinkan diri utk simpan duit aa?

http://moneycentral.msn.com/content/CollegeandFamily/Cutcollegecosts/P41104.asp

http://www.support4learning.org.uk/money/money_manage.htm

HELP!!